Whew! Another whirlwind of a week has come and gone just like that. I helped a student move her pony, I taught some freaking awesome lessons, I interviewed an amazing fellow trainer for an upcoming educational series collaboration, and I reveled in some beautiful moments of presence and peace with Annie amidst all the rain we've gotten. Now with that said, I'm excited to share some of the big threads of thought that came up for me this week!
While I can't yet say too much about the interview I mentioned, I do want to start off by sharing a really powerful metaphor that this person presented during our call that has really stuck with me. The gist of it being - riding is like being on a phone call with someone, you can hear their voice and the words they are saying, but you can't see their face or their body language, therefore you're not really getting the full picture. Groundwork, however, is like a video call or an in-person conversation where you can see the other being's facial expressions and physical postures that allow you to have a better understanding of what they're telling you.
I LOVE this metaphor because it so clearly demonstrates why groundwork is so important for all horse people, regardless of their level of experience or discipline. I also so deeply appreciate that this person really wanted to drive home the point that groundwork isn't just putting a rope halter on your horse and doing natural horsemanship type exercises. Groundwork starts as soon as you approach your horse and the entire interaction you have with them until you're actually on their backs, no matter what that looks like.
I really wanted to share those two huge nuggets of information first and foremost, because if I lose you here, at least you've read something that I hope plants a seed with you and causes you to evaluate your perspective on groundwork.
My beautiful friend Molly, of Spirit Horse Collective, asked a question on her Instagram stories this week that really got me thinking. She asked, "What is something you have really struggled with with your horse?"
Instantly, I was brought right back to my first year with Annie. I thought about how much I struggled to trust her after I fell off of her a couple of times. Looking back on those times, I know she was not at fault. She tried to tell me that she wasn't ready. In our worst moments, I know that I was either too blind (whether consciously or subconsciously) to see her subtle communication or my ego got in the way of listening to her when I did hear her.
It was that last time I fell off during that darker period in our relationship that she tried to lay down while I was on her just a couple minutes into our ride. Before I mounted, Annie told me she wasn't ready. She was tense and nervous just standing there tacked up. But I pushed on anyways because I had friends around who were telling me to ignore her and that we'd be fine.
I can so vividly remember going home to my husband after that. I remember crumpling onto our bathroom floor crying. I felt so guilty that I hadn't listened to Annie. I felt frustrated with myself for not listening to my gut that was churning before I got on her and told me something wasn't right. I felt ashamed that I didn't have the courage in that moment to say to my friends "No, I really don't think riding is a good idea today."
It was in that moment that I knew two things. I knew I should have listened to her and to my gut when they told me not to get on. And I knew that I needed to make some big changes on my end if I wanted our relationship to work.
At the time, in this period of transformation directly following that fall, I truly thought a big part of what I was working on was learning to trust her again. And while that is probably partially true, I know now that what I really needed, and what I would go on to do, was to learn to trust myself again while proving to her that I was trustworthy.
When it comes to Annie, we spent the beginning of the week working on her riding cues from the ground because I just didn't have the time I wanted to ride her. I also made sure to build in time to allow her to hand graze on the grass that is coming up as a wonderful sign of spring.
She had an extra day off with my husband, Josh, and I going to a Whose Line is it Anyway? show on Thursday night. Which, was freaking hilarious, by the way! Such a childhood dream fulfilled after many late summer nights watching that show. Anyways! When I went to the barn Friday night, Annie was a little stiff in her hind end when we played at liberty so I stretched and massaged her a bit before turning her back out. I'm assuming she just slipped or stuck in the mud since the next day she seemed totally fine and remained that way through the weekend with just the light work we did for me to check on her.
We are also looking at other options for Parker. As you might remember, we added a gelding to Annie and Phoebe's little herd. And while we had hoped some initial bumps would work themselves out in time, they just don't seem to be. The biggest one for me personally being that with the way the run-in shed is built with a wall that separates the two open bays, Phoebe will claim one side and Parker takes the other, and then neither will allow Annie in. So he will stay with them for now while another space is prepped and then he will be introduced to another gelding who is currently stalled at night to hopefully find a better living situation for everyone.
Empowering Observations:
Groundwork is like a video call whereas riding is like a phone call. You're still having a conversation with the horse either way, but only one of these scenarios allows you to observe your horse's full range of how they're communicating with you.
Your horse has more to teach your than any horse person ever could, you just have to learn to listen. In my experience, it isn't even the horse professionals who are teaching you something, they're simply interpreting the communication of the horse in a way that helps you better understand how to listen and respond.
Your horsemanship journey has more to do with helping and healing yourself than it does with the horse. It's so easy to look at our journeys with horses and pinpoint all of the successes and challenges we have navigated with them, but I think those of us who really put in the work on ourselves outside of the barn are truly what make us better as horse people. All of the physical, mental, and spiritual work we do to heal ourselves outside of our horses is what allows us to generate the most success with them and allows us to navigate those obstacles with more ease and grace, ultimately making us better partners for them.
Things I'm Loving This Week
Speaking of my pal, Molly of Spirit Horse Collective, I'm constantly in love with basically everything she offers! From custom to pre-made jewelry, to her energy readings, everything she creates is done with such powerful intention. I have a whole assortment of crystal bracelets and necklaces with their corresponding bridle charms for Annie that allow us to connect on a totally different level. Each of Annie halters and her bridle all have a key ring for us to swap out our crystals to suit our day-to-day needs.
Art from the amazing Amber of The Equine Creative! Amber is another wonderful cowgirl friend of mine who specializes in logos and digital art. A while back, she created a beautiful line art drawing of my "Big 3" horses - Nell, Jager, and Annie. Earlier in the week, she offered a flash sale for a few of her services (which she never does!) and I knew I had to jump on the opportunity to get a colored version. I'm really looking forward to sharing that with y'all, but if you're in the market for a new logo or looking to have your animals memorialized through an artistic piece, I highly recommend working with her!
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: When my horse is scared, the best thing I can do is...
Normally Annie will freeze when she is scared so typically the best thing I can do is relax my body, breathe, and wait for her to be ready. If it really takes her a while to snap out of her freeze response, I can ask her to do something simple that she knows well such as hand targeting to regain her attention. If she is really freaked out and escalating into her flight response, the best thing I can do is stay calm and do my best to remove her from the situation entirely to allow her to regulate her nervous system away from the super scary thing and then gradually work on rewarding her for approaching and retreating if need be.
Affirmation: Love and compassion unveil a new truth in any situation.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Surrender
We often make our way through life attached to achieving an end result, and if it isn't coming our way, we start to think that something is wrong. We play the victim and believe that nothing will ever work for us, or we judge ourselves against others who we deem as more successful than we are. We become determined to find a way to fix the situation and begin to detach from our feelings.
Because, if it is working for someone else, you should just be able to copy what they are doing and it will work, right? Sure, this might work some of the time but if you find yourself pushing and forcing to make everything come together, something is off. This can be frustrating to accept, but that off feeling is the universe trying to guide you to an easier path, but this path only comes to you once you let your guard down and surrender.
Where are you pushing for something to happen in your life? How can you allow yourself to surrender and trust that what is meant to be will be?
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here. Full transparency - I receive no financial gain from sharing these, I just love them and find them to be helpful on this journey!