It's been a heck of a week! From balmy spring-like temperatures to start off the week, to predictions of a huge snowstorm that never materialized, and back to icy winter winds, we've definitely been reminded that winter isn't quite over yet. This has meant taking a slower approach to conditioning for Annie, and giving me the space to work on upcoming projects. As with every week of "pivoting" during these wild times, we've taken away important life lessons!
Last week, Parker joined Annie and Phoebe in the pasture and they've been getting to know each other ever since. The expression of personal boundaries has become fewer and farther between, a sign that the transition has been a positive one overall.
The presence of Parker has been beneficial for both of the mares. Phoebe suffered from separation anxiety when Annie would be taken to the barn. She used to pace the gate and call for Annie. But with Parker in the herd, both girls have calmed down considerably when the other leaves. Meanwhile, Annie no longer needs to worry about Phoebe being alone should she leave the pasture and vice versa.
The three-horse herd provides the girls with the safety and comfort they need as herd animals. They are moving around even more now, an indication of increased contentment. Parker has proved to be an excellent addition and has made a world of difference. It's a blessing that their introduction went as smoothly as it did!
Last Sunday, it was clear that with only 24 hours together, Annie was not yet comfortable being asked to leave the herd. Normally, she will approach me as soon as I walk into the pasture, but that day she just looked up at me and chose to continue browsing for grass with the other two. Rather than take that personally, I topped off their hay and cleaned out the run-in. Annie checked in on me a few times while I did that but didn't stick around. If she wants to play, she will stick to me so her behavior reinforced my feelings that she was not feeling up to it that day.
I chose to practice a guided meditation in the run-in shelter just to spend a little more time with the horses. Parker decided to munch on the hay in the other half of the run-in which was the only thing I could hear other than the wind so I had assumed the mares had wandered off to the hay feeder. When I got up, they were just outside the shelter on the other side of Parker, napping together side by side in the sun.
Annie noticed me first and bobbed her head at me as if to beckon me over to her so I obliged. She quickly instructed me to scratch her favorite spots on her neck, which caused her to start grooming Phoebe. After a few minutes of that, Annie nudged me to her other side, in between herself and Phoebe. Then both mares shifted their bodies inward toward me, literally holding me gently between the two of them. We stood like that for maybe 10 minutes, just breathing together, before Phoebe shifted away and Annie began to yawn quite a few times. It was truly a moment of mare magic that felt so special to share with them.
As for training, this week has been a slower than usual for Annie and I, given the changes to the herd and the less-than-ideal weather. We tend to forget how even seemingly positive changes to our horses' lives can still be a source of stress. Failing to account for these changes is so easy to do, so I try my best to account for them in my training plans. We focused on exercises that Annie already knows and that are low-impact, so that she wouldn't feel overworked when she returned to the herd in the bad weather. This is another example of my horse-centric approach to training - my goal is always to keep Annie mentally and physically willing and engaged in the work I'm asking her to do.
Herd changes, inclement weather, and other factors can cause our horses' thresholds to shift daily. These thresholds – the point at which either you or your horse begins to express concern – are dynamic, not fixed. This is why we must be mindful of our horses' boundaries and our own when it comes to setting both up for success in your partnership.
"Work with the horse you have today" has become an important mantra for us as horse people for this very reason. We are too often told to ignore our own or our horse's feelings about the situation at hand, but doing so causes us to shut down and that certainly isn't the answer. We can't expect horses to be happy and willing partners if we push them past their thresholds and eventually into learned helplessness. While this may look like a "well-broke" horse to the untrained eye, they are actually just suppressing their worries. The same goes for us.
The magic of healthy relationships starts with understanding our own thresholds. With competent and compassionate support, we can slowly start to expand both our own and our horses' boundaries. This means it's okay for you both to feel a little worried about something new; learning how to handle emotions is an essential part of the journey. Growth won't happen if we stay in our comfort zone – but it also doesn't happen when we are thrown into the flames without an extinguisher.
As empathetic horse people, we're often called to value the relationship aspects of horsemanship and move slower than we're typically accustomed to. We must adjust our way of doing things, if we are to create positive outcomes in our lives and in our horses' lives.
This week, I reflected on how I've been affected by doing things differently. One particular challenge I face is striking a balance between celebrating my students' and horses' accomplishments while respecting their privacy and the trust we share. After hearing Lockie of Emotional Horsemanship mention respecting his students' confidentiality, my feelings were validated, proving that you don't have to share every detail of what you're doing to be successful. This really inspired me to stay true to what works best for me—regardless of external pressures.
We can make the most change when we stay true to ourselves and use our own experiences to lead by example. In the end, our decisions must align with our values and goals, regardless of what others are doing. Trust your gut, and embrace how uniquely you tackle each challenge that you face!
The journey of discovery and personal growth we experienced this week taught us a valuable lesson: to be mindful of both our own boundaries and our horses’ thresholds. We need to embrace our genuine voices, listen to our horses, and trust that we are always making the best decisions for them. We are all figuring it out together as we wander down this unique path that we are taking. As we continue to explore and learn, let's remember to support one another and always strive to be best horse owners and riders we can be.
Empowering Observations:
Being unique doesn’t mean you’re wrong! This applies to many areas of life, from training your horse with positive reinforcement to how you manage your social media accounts. It's ironic how society promotes being true to yourself, yet so many people still struggle with doing what’s best for them because of fear - whether that be of judgement, vulnerability, misunderstanding, and more. It can be hard to dismiss the noise but remember that you only have to answer to yourself and your horse’s wellbeing. So, when it comes down to it, listen to yourself and your horse first and trust that you’re making the best decisions for you both. Empathetic horse people have the power to make a difference in our communities when we lead by living as our genuine selves.
Understanding and respecting our horses' thresholds is essential for building trust— but equally important is to be mindful of our own! It’s often overlooked, but many of the same core principles behind training apply to us humans too. As horse people, understanding and being mindful of our horses' thresholds is essential to building trust with them. We need to be aware of where our horses are at in order to provide a safe and productive learning environment. Equally important is being aware of where we are at, so that we can show up for our horses as the best version of ourselves. This often requires taking a step back to truly listen to and understand our own thresholds. After all, it is only when we have empathy for ourselves that we can truly be present and provide the same for our horses.
Things I'm Loving This Week
Annie's WeatherBeeta blankets! Okay so I know I said this one a couple weeks ago, but with the crazy weather roller coaster we have been riding, I can now say that I *love* the liner system that these blankets offer and I am so beyond thrilled with how well they fit her! I'm also bringing this up again because right now they are having a ridiculous end-of-season sale on some of their best blankets, sheets, and liners so y'all need to get over to their site if you're in the market for new (or more... ha) horse clothes!
Hay Chix hay nets! I have been using hay nets for a while now to slow-feed my horses and these are by far my favorite. They're easy to fill, there are SO many sizes and net hole options, they're easy to repair, and they absolutely work in terms of slowing your horse's rate of hay consumption and reducing hay waste. We use the half bale nets in the run-in shed, and the full bale nets (the two stand ones) in our hay feeder. They're great year-round, but I love knowing that the horses always have hay in their nets during the insane weather swings!
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: I show up best for training sessions when I...
I show up best for training sessions when I take time to ground myself either in the car or in the pasture before I ask anything of Annie. I show up best when I don't have anything else to do after I work with her so I am not rushed or thinking about whatever else needs to be done that day. I work best when I'm not working on an empty stomach, when I have had a good night's sleep, and when I've moved my body in a different way that day (be it working out, a walk, yoga, etc.). I show up best when I have a loose plan a and plan b for my time with Annie.
Affirmation: I choose to embrace my unique formula for what makes me tick.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Give to Receive
Where in your life are you just expecting things to fall into your lap? This card is calling you to realize that in order to receive, we must first give, without needing anything in return.
So, where are you being needy right now? What are you desperately wanting? And how can you give first from a place of non-attachment and hold the vision of what you want to receive, knowing it is on its way to you at the perfect time? Give first and be open to receiving it.
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here. Full transparency - I receive no financial gain from sharing these, I just love them and find them to be helpful on this journey!
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