Alright, full transparency. I totally lacked motivation this week. In addition to running The Positive Pony, I work a "normal person" 9-5 job that is currently in one of its two busiest seasons. Between that and the sad reality that my old Labrador Retriever, Juno, was diagnosed with stage two chronic kidney disease at the end of last week, a lot of my mental and emotional energy has been expended before I get to the barn.
Having worked in vet med before, I'm not overly concerned by the diagnosis and am thankful to have the knowledge to support her, but I am certainly reminded of the fact that she is getting up there in age and won't be with me forever. Juno is my first dog and has made it to nearly 13 years old with very few issues other than arthritis so I'm super thankful that we caught this soon enough (thanks to preventative bloodwork!) that it can be managed with dietary changes. While I'm mostly okay with all of this, I definitely needed to shift much of my focus this week to supporting her.
So rather than drill down on our conditioning work, I chose to prioritize joy and fun during my time with Annie amidst my otherwise draining week. We played at liberty, I hung out in the pasture with the little herd, spent extra time grooming, plus a whole lot of time was spent scratching since we have officially moved into shedding season! Even though I do have goals for us, we're not on any concrete timelines so there is no real pressure to get things done or make things happen just for the sake of saying I did. I know we can always get to the more serious stuff when we're able. At this point in horses and in life, I'd much rather move a little slower while honoring what both Annie and I need so that we don't end up burnt out.
This is partly the inspiration behind my reminder of the week - if you don't stand up for yourself and your horse, who will?
More than once I've talked with or worked with people who have struggled with expressing themselves to a professional when they're feeling a certain way either in regards to themselves or their horses. I've called out my own students when I see their expressions change as if they want to say something to remind them that our time together is sacred and non-judgmental. I can't help them if they don't tell me what is going on in their bodies or what they are feeling about or from their horse.
But I totally get it! So many of us have learned not to question "the professionals" (whether that is a trainer, veterinarian, bodyworker, etc.) or express when we feel nervous, confused, intimidated, scared, or whatever else because that somehow means you're not being a good student. But that is exactly the opposite of what should happen in a good relationship with a professional.
From my perspective, that should be the space where there is the most trust and safety to ask questions and fully express ourselves without judgement. If you feel like you can't speak up in a relationship, I hope you question why that is and either find support in healing what may be holding you back, or consider finding another professional who creates the conditions that do allow you to feel fully seen and heard. Your horse is depending on you to do so.
Another concept I talked about over on social media was trigger stacking, or the accumulation of stressors + stimuli over a period of time that cause you or your horse to go over your thresholds. So often we hear people say that their horse bucked, reared, freaked out, etc. out of nowhere without looking at the bigger picture that would likely explain how they got to their louder expression of their feelings.
It's always interesting to me that I feel like I pick a topic to post about and then that topic pops up in my own life shortly thereafter! This week was no different. On Thursday I went to the barn to work with Annie and got there shortly before Parker's person. We have yet to have two of the three horses out of the pasture at a time since adding Parker to the herd so I already knew this would be concerning for Phoebe when the other two left her. I gave her some loose hay on the ground in the areas where she has paced by the fence in the past in hopes I could help her to be a bit less anxious as this has helped in the past. She definitely called quite a bit while we were inside but had eaten most of the hay by the time we were done which was a good sign since horses that are too stressed often won't eat.
Inside, Parker's person and I chatted about how he has been doing with her since moving in with the mares. She felt he was calming down for sure but was buddy sour the first couple of times he left his new friends. Totally understandable for a horse who had been out by himself for a few months! She then took him into the arena while I finished grooming Annie, who clearly took note of him leaving but seemed relatively okay since there were other horses around in the barn. Her energy then raised a bit more as Parker started calling and we could hear him rocketing around in the arena - of course we had just said he was calming down! That being said, none of the horses had been in this particular situation yet so it was to be expected.
After that, I went into the tack room to grab something and accidentally tripped a bit on the dog bed that is just outside of it as I was coming out, thus making a pretty loud noise not terribly far from Annie's behind. She startled and scooted forward a bit in the aisle. As well as she held herself together, I could tell she was rattled by that so I asked her for some of her easy and typically calming cues. This helped, but I could tell she was still distracted.
Parker then went back outside before we went into the arena. I could tell from her facial expression that Annie didn't initially love him leaving but calmed down pretty quickly until Phoebe suddenly trotted into the barn right at us! I guess she had barged past Parker and his person at the gate as he was going back into the pasture but thankfully headed straight to the barn. I easily caught her (thanks, food rewards!) and we got her back outside without any issue. Annie was still quite alert but agreed to go into the arena with me.
I already knew that I wouldn't be asking much of her considering everything that had just happened. Strange noises coming from behind her and pasture mates coming and going with high energies are two of Annie's triggers so I knew we were starting from a place that was much closer to her thresholds. Rather than work on something new or difficult, I asked her for a few of her favorite behaviors and we practiced a few exercises I like to use for establishing connection. She left me a few times but rejoined quickly. After that had happened and she stuck with me long enough to really soften all the way through her body, I heavily rewarded her and called it quits for the evening. I wanted to reinforce that relaxation and let her know that was what I was looking for.
This was such a real-time perfect example of the importance of recognizing what triggers your horse, what their thresholds are, and how being mindful of those things can help us best approach our time with our horses.
To wrap it up, standing up for yourself and your horse, understanding the bigger picture when behaviors happen, being mindful of your own and your horse's triggers, and respecting their thresholds are all so integral to having a strong relationship. Our horses need us to be their advocates and always make sure our interactions are with their best interest in mind. It's vital to create a safe and trustful environment in which they can be free to express themselves, and for us as owners or riders to provide them with the emotional, mental, and physical support they need.
Empowering Observations:
It's your responsibility to speak up for yourself and for your horse. I know this can feel like a tough one, but if you feel like you can't do this, I hope you question why that is. Because it doesn't need to be this way. There are so many people out there who may be a better fit to support you and your horse on your journey who will welcome your questions and want to know how you're feeling each step of the way. The best professionals will want to know these things and will take them into consideration as you work together.
You need to know what triggers both you and your horse so that you're both set up for success. Unfortunately, our horses don't come with instruction manuals, and more often than not we find out their triggers by accident but we need to make note of them. Knowing what impacts their energy will help you determine what you can and maybe shouldn't ask of them on a given day, thus creating more positive experiences for you both.
Things I'm Loving This Week
Our Hay Ball Feeder! Annie and Parker have been bonding over the hay ball almost every day in the last couple of weeks. It's been so fun to see them play together since this was not something Phoebe is typically interested in doing.
The Om & The Equestrian March MATness challenge! You guys know how much I love Natasha and her yoga classes but this month she is doing something extra special and there is still time to join us. You can always join the online studio and practice anytime, join us for live classes, or both!
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: My values in life and with horses are...
My values in life and with horses are to provide honesty with compassion, to embody confidence, strength, and perseverance with boundaries that protect my peace, and to speak my truth while listening with an open heart to those around me.
Affirmation: I love knowing what is important to me.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Slow Down
Many of of live our lives always in a rush. We constantly think about moving on to the next task, perfecting something right away and needing something yesterday. But horses teach us that this isn't the most optimal way to get what we want.
This card is calling you to look at where you are pushing too hard for something to happen in your life and instead slow down. It's time to take stock of how you can enjoy the process, form a solid foundation and know that the outcome you desire will come when you are ready for it.
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here. Full transparency - I receive no financial gain from sharing these, I just love them and find them to be helpful on this journey!
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