Anyone else feeling totally charged up after the Summer Solstice?! While it is a bummer that we will slowly be losing daylight already, summer is by far my favorite season here in New England.
There is nothing like being outside in shorts and a tank top for this short window of time while soaking up the sun, listening to the birds and cicadas, reading a book in the hammock, spending time out in the garden, and of course spending warm nights at the barn! Note that I am choosing to leave out the bugs...
This week may have flown by, but I've been making sure to build in time for all of those things that feed my soul to start the summer off right. I hope you're doing some of what lights you up, too!
This week's "We're Not Really Strangers" prompt was "What is lesson took you the longest to unlearn?" I know that the biggest one for me is that I can't control everything, and that even trying to do so is physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. Not needing to earn rest is a close second!
Some of the lessons shared by others were:
Setting boundaries does not make you self-centered
Your worth is not defined by how others treat you or their opinion of you
You cannot hide from your feelings
Everyone's journey looks different, you're not "behind"
You're never done growing or changing
You don't need to make other peoples' problems your problems
I absolutely resonate with each and every one of these! So many of these lessons got me thinking about how they are rooted in societal conditioning which is why they are so prevalent even if we do feel like we are learning these lessons alone. I think so many of us, especially women, learn that we are supposed to manage everyone else's feelings first and care for ourselves last which simply isn't healthy for anyone.
It can be really freaking hard to put yourself first and protect your own peace. From taking the time and space to process your emotions or improving yourself in areas that matter to you, to setting boundaries with yourself and others or defining your own worth not on what you do but by simply showing up, I've come to see that this often feels like you'll somehow be disappointing others. When in reality, the people who truly care and who love you unconditionally understand that you need to take care of yourself, including your horse.
As for Annie, we had a relatively quiet week but what really stood out was our Summer Solstice ride! I normally am not able to get to the barn on Wednesdays since I have weekly dinner with my mom, but she is currently on vacation. After I taught a lesson that evening, I popped over to the barn to see Annie.
Earlier in the week I had planned to ride on Wednesday without even thinking about the solstice, but I also got a nudge from Dana at Elevation Equine who told me to get a ride in during the solstice to take advantage of the heightened energy. Even though it had gotten got relatively hot between the temps and the humidity, Annie still opted in to being bridled and to me mounting her bareback when offered.
We moseyed around the arena and even though it might not have looked like much, I was totally overjoyed with this little ride. I spent most of it simply allowing Annie to choose where she wanted to go while adding in some bending and a few moments of asking for our ridden pillar work from the Balance Through Movement Method. It was one of those rides where we just felt so connected, leaving me feeling overwhelmed by gratitude for Annie and what we have built over the last couple of years.
Because of the weather, I didn't push her too hard in terms of conditioning work this week which was also clearly in alignment with what we needed.
After our first call back to level two of the Intuitive Equestrian program, I was reminded that with Annie going so well, I need to spend less time looking for things to fix and more time simply enjoying where we are since she is feeling so good right now.
That's something I know I struggle with - being a fixer. I'm constantly searching for areas to improve in which can cause me to lose sight of where I am in the moment - which is often where I was trying to get to in the first place! And even though I'm pretty good about noting progress and celebrating our wins, I often catch myself looking ahead to the next thing that needs work.
I realize that this must be annoying for Annie who I notice is often trying to tell me that she's fine, stop looking for things to be wrong. I have to imagine there is a part of me that feels that my worth is tied to my ability to help others, but that simply isn't true. This totally ties back into the lessons from the prompt of the week that trying to control every single thing is exhausting for both of us, so why keep fighting to fix problems that aren't even there?
Sure, I can facilitate change or address major issues as they come up, but it isn't my job to fix everything the way I think it needs to be fixed. Sometimes things just need to be as they are and I want to be better about surrendering to that. I'm not a bad horseperson for enjoying time with Annie without working on something, whether that be our relationship, training, body, or energy work. We just need to be as we are and that is enough.
Empowering Observations:
You need to take care of yourself first. So many of the lessons we are learning are actually an unlearning old habits or ways of being, and many of these revolve around making everyone else comfortable but ourselves. You cannot be the best version of yourself without tending to that person, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
You don't need to be fixing things all the time! In a way, owning a horse is a lot like owning a house in this way. There will occasionally be big issues that need to be fixed, but most of the time a little maintenance goes a long way. But in the meantime, you are supposed to enjoy the time that you are there without looking for things to correct or improve.
Things I'm Loving This Week
My new 5 Star Endurance pad! I have two other pads that I love, but they are both fleece lined, so I was looking to add a high-quality wool pad to my mix and boy did I make the right choice. Right out of the box I was absolutely amazed by the quality of the wool, it's dense yet super soft. I've had it on Annie a couple of times this week and not only does Annie seem to like it, but it's done a great job at wicking away sweat on these super hot days.
With the heat, I've been giving Annie lots of baths that include the various formulas of equine soap from Virtue Soap Company. They have three different formulas: citronella lavender for insect protection, chamomile oatmeal for calming and cleansing, and an herbal liniment blend which is my go-to after Annie works up a sweat! They also make amazing human and canine products, too.
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: I process emotions best when I...
I process my emotions best when allow them to be without judging them for being right or wrong, good or bad. I find that I need to process my emotions both physically and logically. I almost always need to talk through my feelings in order to move them through me, and if they are big feelings, this process can take me a few days so that I can see them from up close and at a bit of a distance.
Affirmation: I choose to embrace what works for me.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Stay Curious
There is a voice inside you asking why. It's time to listen to it.
Perhaps you are learning something new, questioning someone's behavior, or maybe you just feel a strong urge to ask why something is done a certain way. You simply want to know more and want to have a deeper understanding of something. You're curious about it.
It doesn't matter what you feel intrigued to investigate, but this card is calling you to stay curious and follow that rabbit hole. You don't need to understand where it is going to lead you, but this desire you have around this subject is yours for a reason.
So, what is it that you are feeling pulled towards, and how can you allow yourself to move towards it and see how it goes. You just never know what amazing thing might be awaiting you on the other side of it.
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here. Full transparency - I receive no financial gain from sharing these, I just love them and find them to be helpful on this journey!