This week didn't see much in the way of my goals with Annie due to a crazy busy work week between my day job and helping out with chores at the barn, but there was still plenty to reflect on!
If you read last week's recap, you know that I am taking a huge leap of faith and betting on myself by taking an energy work and an animal communication course beginning in May. And if you didn't read last week's recap, here's your sign to go back and catch up!
While taking these two courses feels totally out of my comfort zone, I knew it was something I had to do because I kept being called back to it. With that commitment made, it felt way too fitting that I received an e-mail from Nicola Jane Hobbs, aka The Relaxed Woman, this week with the subject of "Playing it Safe" in which she captures exactly what I needed to hear as prepare to take this next big step.
"...when we have a deep sense of inner safety within us, we no longer need to desperately cling to those things that make us feel safe in the outer world. The familiar. The secure. The predictable. The controllable. The comfortable. Because there is a huge difference between FEELING safe and PLAYING IT safe. In fact, they are the total opposite.
Playing it safe is a sign that we don’t feel safe. And when we don’t feel safe, we’ll avoid anything unfamiliar, uncertain and unknown. Even if these are the very things that will nourish our souls.
Taking risks is a sign that we feel safe. Safe enough to choose authenticity over approval, even if it means being misjudged and disliked. Safe enough to pursue the dreams that matter to us, even though we might fail. Safe enough to ask for help, to tell the truth, to challenge the status quo. Safe enough to be messy and confused and imperfect.
The more we cultivate a sense of safety within us, an inner mother who holds us and guides us and loves us unconditionally, the more we find ourselves making choices rooted in love rather than driven by fear. Because fear is a response to threat. And love is a response to safety.
And the more love becomes a driving force behind what we do, the more love ripples out into the world around us. And together, we begin to create a more loving world for ourselves, our families, our communities and our earth. May you feel safe enough to release the habits that no longer serve you. To pursue the goals that matter to you. To take the risks that will help you create a life worth living. A life worth sharing."
Reading this hit me like a bus. It reaffirmed my decision by reminding me that taking this risk is a sign that I feel safe enough to pursue it. And that in itself feels like such a powerful shift for me.
In this same vein, I also really appreciate the perspective that Lockie Phillips of Emotional Horsemanship put forward in one of his stories this week - that so many of us confuse understanding something with mastering it. This mindset keeps us from even trying new things because we feel that we don't understand them, when simply trying the thing is what we need to do in order to begin to master it.
So I, too, hope you can find a way to feel safe enough to take risks and to just try the dang thing that inspires you, because that willingness to try is actually a sign of self-love, something I think we could all use a little more of.
On another note, I've been busy this week helping out with chores at the barn I board Annie at while the owner was away on (a super well deserved!) vacation. It's during these times that I am reminded how thankful I am to be a part of such a wonderful barn community. One where the horses are well cared for, the people are kind and supportive, and everyone pitches in.
I used to really struggle with the idea of being a trainer without my own barn and having to board, even though I know that defines plenty of other people. But lately I've really been embracing it in a way that I don't think I had really allowed myself to in the past. Not only does it allow me to more easily travel to other students at their homes or barns without worrying about taking care of Annie, but it has allowed me to connect with so many other wonderful humans and horses that I would have if I were to have my own personal home-base (which is still the future plan!). What is even cooler is that they're all so accepting and often quite curious about how I approach working with horses using R+ which is so refreshing because I don't feel that same sense of loneliness I've felt by being the odd duck at other barns in the past.
What's even better about where we are now is that I wasn't officially planning on moving Annie, it was other circumstances that kind of forced my hand but it ended up being the best thing for the both of us. We've both grown a ton thanks to the environment we're in now in ways that I would have never imagined. So thanks for that, universe!
This is all to say that I hope you can also find a place that offers you the space and safety to find your herd and grow beyond your wildest dreams. I know how easy it can be to feel like the barn weirdo because you do things differently, but I know from experience that your people are out there and it doesn't need to be like that forever.
As for an actual Annie update, she came in with a decent (but thankfully superficial) wound to her left elbow at the beginning of the week. While it doesn't seem to bother her too much, I chose not to saddle her until it closed up just in case for whatever reason the cinch interfered with it due to its location. And by the time I am writing this at the end of the week, it's almost entirely healed.
Besides prioritizing her comfort and health, not working on our riding goals is not a big deal to me this week considering how busy I was with my regular human job and with helping out at the barn. I'd much rather be able to give her my full attention when we're both ready rather than trying to make things happen while I'm running on empty. I know that doing so wouldn't be fair to either of us and I'm good with that.
So rather than do anything that felt like work with Annie, I just hung out with her in my free time. We enjoyed a few extra long grooming (err... de-shedding) sessions and a wonderful energy/massage/aromatherapy session on Sunday. It was really wonderful to just spend that quiet time together and be really intentional about using our time together as a way to recharge.
With work winding down slightly this week and being done with chores, my plan is to get back on track with Annie's under saddle work this week if that feels right, as well as have a few exciting and cup-filling calls with some wonderful horsey humans that I'm so grateful to know. And with that said, I can't wait to share what happens in this coming week - so stay tuned!
Empowering Observations:
"Taking risks is a sign we feel safe." As I've gotten older, it's become increasingly difficult to take the risks I would have so boldly taken when I was younger. I've told myself the story that this is to keep myself safe, whether that be physically, emotionally, financially, etc. But I can see where this has held me back from doing plenty of things that I later find myself wishing I had just gone ahead and done. So in this new evolution of myself, I'm actively paying attention to and leaning into the moments where I feel the need to play it safe but long to know what's on the other side. I'm learning that is the signal that I'm likely keeping myself small out of fear rather than loving myself enough to take a chance. Here's to taking chances!
Just because what you're doing doesn't look like "the norm," doesn't mean you're any less than or any better than anyone else. The old adage, "Comparison is the thief of joy" comes to mind here, especially in the age of social media. It's easier than ever to compare ourselves to people and beat ourselves into a pulp for what we're lacking compared to them. But you're not meant to be them, you're here to blaze your own trail. I know the whole "be authentic" thing is really overplayed right now, but it is true. The more you show up and own who you are, the more permission you give to others to do the same.
Things I'm Loving This Week
I get asked about Annie's halter all the time so I wanted to share a link to it here! It's the LeMieux Vogue Fleece Headcollar & Rope in the now discontinued color Papaya. I love how soft and well padded this halter is, it has a wide noseband and crownpiece, has upgraded hardware, and they all come with a matching lead rope for a great price (made better by sales for seasonal colors!). I'm definitely planning on getting a few more of them in different colors in the future!
A friend of mine gave me a pair of these Hydroflector Lined Waterproof Gloves and I am SO thankful for them after this chilly, wet week of barn chores! Seriously, there is not much worse than having cold, damp hands when you're trying to muck stalls. They're super grippy, the lining is really soft, and they're affordable. Definitely a must have in my book - and clearly they make a great gift for your hard-working barn + horse owners, trainers, and friends!
My Grey Horse candles! I polled my Instagram followers a couple of weeks ago on which candle to bring to the office as I had bought four. The results were so close (tied on two scents, actually!) so I was forced to be the tie-breaker ha. I ended up going with Sweet Feed, which has notes of molasses, rich maple, fresh ginger, brown sugar, fig, cinnamon sticks, & vanilla. I'm not at all disappointed, and neither are my coworkers who continue to comment on how good it smells in my office. These equestrian themed candles made by a small, woman-owned business are another great gift for your horse friends who occasionally prefer not to smell like the barn!
Equestrian Reflection
Journal Prompt: My horse has previously been triggered by... Is there a common theme?
Sounds, without a doubt! Annie is super sensitive to unfamiliar or unexpected sounds and has been triggered by all sorts of noises in the past from gunshots to a turnout blanket sliding off a bench. I will say, because she absolutely deserved the credit here, that she has come a long way in that now she normally just needs to either stop and look for a moment, or if really startled, will scoot a step or two forward and will look to me immediately. And in both situations she regulates her emotions relatively quickly now.
Affirmation: Zoom out and find common threads.
Equestrian Oracle
Theme for the Upcoming Week
Look Ahead
One of the most powerful things you can do is allow yourself to dream and look ahead. It's so easy to avoid doing this because what you deeply desire might feel so far away from your current reality, but the more you allow yourself to tap into that vision, the more your subconscious can help get you there.
It's time for you to look ahead and create a new story for yourself to dream about. Write it down or speak it out loud as if it has already happened and let yourself believe that it is completely possible for you, and then let your mind do the work to help you manifest it.
*The Equestrian Reflection and Equestrian Oracle cards are courtesy of Felicity Davies and can be purchased directly from her here. Full transparency - I receive no financial gain from sharing these, I just love them and find them to be helpful on this journey!